The Mommy Mob by Rebecca Eckler

Author:Rebecca Eckler [Rebecca Eckler]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: TKTK
ISBN: 9780991741144
Publisher: Barlow Publishing
Published: 2014-02-27T00:00:00+00:00

Hospital-Room Hosting

Do not make the nurses the bad guys. They are paid to take care of you and your little one, not correct your issues with your families. If the nurses wanted to be bouncers, they could have avoided all of their schooling and student loans.

Sometimes I think readers have this idea that once they become mothers and find themselves devoting substantial time, effort, and energy to their children, their opinions become less valid, which is what can happen when you are constantly talking baby-talk all day long. Then they discover they can read and post their views on a mommy blog and feel significant again. I get this. Your voice is heard, or read, on a mommy blog, while your friends have ditched you, assuming you are too tired or busy to go out because you now are a mother. And your husband suddenly has started staying late at the office, not because he’s having an affair, but because he hates putting the kids to bed. But just because a person can comment, it doesn’t mean she has to be rude. And just because she CAPS HER ENTIRE COMMENT doesn’t make her points ANY MORE VALID. As in an argument, just because you are screaming doesn’t mean you’re right.

One of the best things about my son’s birth was that he arrived early! Just a week early, but I went into labor quite quickly, which meant I only had time to get into the car, while screaming at my fiancé to speed the fuck up. What I actually screamed, I think, was, “You get, like, five speeding tickets a week, and now is the time you decide to drive like a senior citizen in a snowstorm?”

My son was born shortly before midnight, which for many reasons was an awesome time to give birth. For one thing, it was too late to call my friends or family. For another, it all happened so fast that neither my fiancé nor I had a chance to charge our phones before we went to the hospital, which meant that, really, we couldn’t call, text, or email them even if we wanted to—which we didn’t. (Oh, I’m not talking about you! Of course we wanted to call you! But our batteries were dead.) It was quite divine to have the night alone with just my fiancé and our brand-new baby.

When I had my daughter, I had a semi-private room, which would have been fine if the woman next to me wasn’t Amish, and had eighteen people in her room at all times. Her guests were very nice and polite. As they walked past me, the men would take off their hats and bow. I liked that. They have good manners. Before my Amish roommate and her relatives visited, no one had ever bowed to me before.

But I also had my in-laws in the room, my first fiancé, my mother, and numerous others, whom I can’t remember. I’m the type of gal who doesn’t like hosting. I find it stressful.

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